From The Mailbag: Gay Marriage, Banking Schemes And Hot Air Balloon Rides

We receive a lot of e-mail. Most of these missives are carefully read, discussed at length among the editors, and courteously replied to in a timely fashion—except for the ones that are so bizarre and irrelevant that we're simply afraid to engage the sender. Instead, we'll share them with you. Behold, the eccentric underbelly of the Gothamist inbox:

Leading up to the historic passage of the measure on Friday, the marriage equality legislation spurred plenty of passionate arguments in the comments section, but one reader believes that we crossed a line in insulting State Senator Ruben Diaz, Sr.

How is it that Garth Johnston can join the gay crowds and name calling of an elected State Senator? Where is the respect due the office? In my opinion, Garth Johnston owes the Senator Diaz, Sr. an apology.

While it's true that you can't spell "R-E-S-P-E-C-T" without "selfishly hijacking the state legislature, supporting Hiram Monserrate, comparing abortion to the Holocaust, and cynically using his granddaughter as a political prop to deny equal rights to all New Yorkers..." wait, what was your question again?

Occasionally, we get airtight business proposals that we squirrel away for when our retirement portfolios are looking bleak. Here's a good one

Hello dear,

My name is [REDACTED], I am a branch manager of [REDACTED] here in ecuador,south america. I have a banking buisness which I need someone's assistant so that we can join hands together and see to it's success with trust. Please do reply for more detail, via my email: [REDACTED] I expect to hear from you as soon as possible.

Oh thank God you emailed [REDACTED], we were just filling up empty cereal boxes with gravel and returning them at Duane Reade to make some extra cash but this proposal sounds PERFECT. Ok, so we just dropped out Social Security number, our bank account number, our grandmother's phone number, and $60 cash into an envelope and need to know where to send it. The sooner our hands "join together" in "trust" the sooner we can tell the Mastercard people that they can try and find us in Ecuador!

And finally, another future satisfied customer:

I'm writing because I wanted to know how to book the tickets for the hot air balloon rides?

Glad to see you've seen our ads in the bathrooms of Pop Tarts World! First, send a telegram to our Frankfurt, Germany office. Tell them that you want the "Sizzlin Deal With Helium-Light Prices." Then, wait for the courier to bring your tickets. Our hot air balloon, which will get you to Europe in the mind-blowing time span of 2.5 days, will pick you up at Lakehurst, New Jersey. Add $50 for a parachute.