Taste-Testing The New Triple Double Oreos

Gothamist's Christopher Robbins

Here at Gothamist, we strive to keep you up to date on the most important food trends of the 21st century. That's why we've valiantly taste-tested Pop-Tarts sushi, deep-fried Kool-Aid balls, Montreal bagels, and artisanal ketchup. Today, we were sent a snack food of mind-boggling proportions: the newly released Triple Double Oreo. What does that even mean?!

Each cookie contains TWO layers of filling (chocolate and vanilla), but, unlike the pedestrian Double-Stuf Oreo, its layers are separated by a THIRD cookie in the middle. Each cookie clocks in at a cool 100 calories a pop, and they're large enough to cause milk-dunking blockades. They're a feat of structural engineering, and very likely the pinnacle of American excess. But...how do they taste? Here are some observations on the gut-busting cookie:

• "Oreo just took a giant step back for mankind. The triple double should be a double triple: triple the filling and double the cookie. Seeing the filling scrunched up like that, being waterboarded by those three cookies...it's just depressing. And how many focus groups do they need to tell them the CHOCOLATE FILLING SUCKS?! You don't want chocolate filling with chocolate cookie, that's some sort of weird Hydrox variation. I think Oreo sold itself out for some bullshit 'Triple Double' sports metaphor. Make cookies for cookie eaters, not ESPN."
• "The middle cookie part is really superfluous. They should have just tripled the center mystery filling. It's just too much cookie. Would you honestly choose this over a Double Stuf? I don't think so."
• "They should cut the third cookie altogether and add another layer of creme. Triple-stuffed Oreos!"
• "It's a good start, but I think another deck of peanut butter is necessary to really make the cookie sing.‬ ‪It shouldn't be so easy to fit my mouth around it.‬"
• "First of all, the name of these cookies contains a basic lie—a triple double is supposed to have at least six layers of frosting, and this thing only has two.  Even if you count the cookies, that's only five layers.  Sure, I could see the marketing guys saying "It's triple PLUS double- five"— that kind of thing might work in Soviet Russia, but this is America and where is the goddamn frosting.‬"

So there you have it. Should you feel compelled to form your own opinion, the Triple Doubles are now available in stores nationwide.