New Yorkers Dumbfounded By Huge Fish Near East River

Photos by Greg Boyd

We've gone all summer (so far) without a Montauk Monster in sight, but this fish that washed up near the Brooklyn Bridge sated some New Yorker's cravings for a good sea creature mystery. A fishtery, if you will. And even if the mystery didn't last long enough to spawn any good government-based conspiracy theories, it'll have to do.

This morning an excited tipster, Greg Boyd, told us that last night around 7 p.m. "I was walking with my friend Catherine after dinner by the East River. There is a small sandy part of the river beach right under the Brooklyn Bridge" on the Manhattan side... "We saw about 30 or 40 people standing by the railing, and 2 people had jumped over the railing. We walked up and saw this very large fish. It must be 5 feet long and has some very strange markings. I would really appreciate it if your readers can help identify this." He estimates that hundreds of New Yorkers probably saw this dead fish last night.

We did contact the Ichthyology Department at the AMNH to confirm, but this looks to be a classic sturgeon, which is also the popular theory on Reddit right now. Case closed. Mystery solved. Stop being so confused about nature things everyone.

Maybe we should all take a field trip to this Seining The River class next month, where scientists use a 20-foot seining net to humanely catch and release the critters found in the East River.