Leaving NYC for the holidays? Here's how to deal with friends and family trashing the city.

People sure have strong opinions about New York!

And the loudest voices are often from those who don’t even live here. So, as many of us head home, away from the city, or elsewhere for the holidays, we’ll need to brace ourselves for some rude comments about the place we call home.

And sure, there’s plenty about New York City to complain about, but we only want to hear gripes from those in the trenches with us.

Don’t live here?

Then no, thank you. Please keep your opinions about the city to yourself. Or did you live here years ago but moved away? Ditto!

So, here are some of the frequently rude questions Aunt Lisa may ask around the Thanksgiving table, and some ideas for how to respond.

Whatever you say, the trick to keeping things light and polite is to do it with a smile, quickly change the subject, and remember that – like all good New Yorkers – we don’t actually care if people don’t like our town. Because when it comes to calling NYC home, if you know, you know.

I could never live there.

Internal monologue: OK, well, the one time you visited New York 15 years ago, you only explored a two-block radius around Times Square and now you think you know the city. And you don’t hear me criticizing your dinky town where I’m forced to drive everywhere and every restaurant closes at 8 p.m., do you?

Instead, try: Life is all about finding a place that matches your frequency! New York just really suits me.

Your apartment is HOW small?

Internal monologue: Location, location, location! New York City is my living room. And my kitchen. So, really my apartment is actually 8.6 billion square feet. Yes, for the same price, I could have a 10-bedroom McMansion with a pool and horse paddock somewhere three hours from the nearest domestic airport. But then what?

Instead, try: I’m usually out and about enjoying everything New York has to offer … who needs a big place when it’s just where I sleep and store my clothes?

The weather is terrible.

Internal monologue: There’s no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing. And is there really any city that has perfect weather 365 days, with no other flaws?

Instead, try: Oh, I love the change of seasons. So many different moods and fashion options all year long!

I would never raise my kids in New York.

Internal monologue: Do you realize how many cool experiences and opportunities are available for kids in New York? They’re eating phở before they know how to walk!

Instead, try: Fair enough!

Ew … there’s garbage and rats everywhere.

Internal monologue: New York was built for commerce, not comfort! The garbage has to go somewhere! And I’d much rather live in a city that feels lived in and enjoyed rather than be stuck somewhere completely sterile and void of street life. Give me that Jane Jacobs sidewalk ballet any day of the week.

Instead, try: It’s actually getting better! We just learned about garbage cans and now many buildings in New York are required to use them! Better late than never, right?

You don’t have a washer/dryer in your apartment? Sad.

Internal monologue: I will blow your mind if I bring up garbage disposals, too.

Instead, try: Using those big machines in a laundromat is actually so much more convenient! I can do two weeks’ worth of laundry and all my sheets and my comforter all at once and be done in an hour.

Or: I can send it out and it’ll come back clean and folded. Like magic!

I didn’t think the food was so great when I was there.

Internal monologue: What a completely bonkers thing to say.

Instead, try: It’s so hard to keep up with the dining scene in New York … new places are always popping up! What are some of your favorite restaurants around here?

Everyone is so rude.

Internal monologue: Maybe to you. New Yorkers are actually some of the friendliest and most polite people out there and do a great job of minding their own business. Someone probably called you out for holding a restaurant door open too long in the middle of winter, stepping up to a deli counter without being ready to order, or walking 3x3 along a narrow West Village sidewalk.

Instead, try: New York certainly has its own local etiquette rules, for sure! But all etiquette is local…Paris, Texas definitely has different rules from Paris, France.

Your airports are terrible and it takes forever to get to them.

Internal monologue: Touché. They may have a point.

Instead, try: LaGuardia is actually great now! It's worth going just for Sarah Sze’s incredible installation! And big things are planned for Kennedy and Newark! We’re working on it!

Nick Leighton is the co-host of the weekly etiquette podcast, Were You Raised By Wolves?