<em>Game Of Thrones</em> Power Rankings: Dark Wings, Dark Words

HBO

Last week, we eased our way back into Game Of Thrones with dragon dining and Westeros' very own Kate Middleton. This week's episode does a good job transitioning from character to character, but it's got quite a tough task introducing lots of new ones (including the Queen of Thorns, Jojen and Meera Reed, Thoros of Myr, and the Brotherhood Without Banners). Since the show is all about how people jockey for power, we've decided to follow along this season with our Game of Thrones Power Rankings—aka, who is owning this week.

Game Of Thrones Power Rankings, Week 2:

1. Olenna Redwyne: Our first meeting with the Queen Of Thorns proves she's one of the savviest characters in the whole show. And she's chockfull of hilarious oneliners: "Once the cow's been milked there's no squirting the cream back up the udder, so here we are to see things through;" when a Tyrell farts, it smells like a rose; it's a "pity" her son is the "Lord Oaf of Highgarden." She's giving Tyrion and Jamie a run for their money as quippiest character.

2. Joffrey "The Worst" Baratheon: This week we learn that Joffrey hates stupid flowers, knows how to use "whom" correctly, and nothing turns him on like talking about killing things.

3. Margaery Tyrell: We can clearly see she's following in her grandmother's footsteps. Now that she knows her bethrothed is a violence-prone monster, she is starting to excell at spinning him around her finger

4. Mance Rayder: He seems much more at ease with the supernatural elements of Westeros than most of the other kings and leaders. And his warg just happens to be the one and only Gareth Keenan!

5. Robb Stark: Found out his grandfather died and Winterfell has been sacked. It turns out that heading to a funeral makes for a pretty boring storyline, but he's still King in the North.

6. Brienne of Tarth: She's learning something new each week just by watching Jaime pee, including the fact that even innocent men need to be killed sometimes. Also, she totally would have beaten Jamie had she gotten to finish that fight.

7. Jamie Lannister: Has the best line of the week, about little tulip Renly: "It's a shame the throne isn't made out of cocks—they would have never gotten him off it." Also called Brienne a "giant tow-headed plank," and showed real empathy about the mysteries of love.

8. Cersei Lannister: Learns from her son that intelligent women do what they're told [cue drinking out of a giant wine goblet off-stage].

9. Arya Stark: Well, she's very brave, even if her companions aren't. But as Gendry points out, she could have ended the war before it even started.

10. Sansa Stark: Still way too naive about Littlefinger, and way over her head with the Queen of Thorns.

11. Bran Stark: Didn't ask for black magic dreams, but here we are. On the plus side, at least he got to hear dead dad Ned's disembodied voice, and meet the mysterious Jojen Reed.

12. Catelyn Stark: Let's see: will be wearing manacles to her dad's funeral, sews some useless things to protect Bran, and recounts how she hates Jon Snow. Overall, not her worst week!

13. The Hound: As we predicted, he's obviously been on a major bender—but not so drunk that he can't recognize a Stark girl when he sees one.

14. Theon Grejoy: You might think that being tortured by unknown foes would make you the most pathetic person of the week...but you'd be wrong!

15. Sam Tarly: Well, he literally isn't walking anymore. But he's not quite the least powerful, because he's been forbidden to die.

The Viserys Targeryen Memorial Least Powerful Person Of The Week Award:
Rickon Stark: His brother wakes up from a dream, and he's scared. Then he goes running into a field on his own, for no apparent reason. What the hell is up with this kid.

Not Applicable: We don't see Tywin Lannister, Ser Bronn, Daenerys Targaryen, Jorah Mormont, Stannis Baratheon, Davos, or Melisandre this week. But don't worry, because most of them will be back next week—along with a whole lot of Catelyn Stark's relatives! Until then, here's the theme song the way we always hear it.