Dating coaches' advice to single New Yorkers: It’s not them, it’s you.

In just one short year, dating coach Niko Emanuilidis has amassed hundreds of clients. And it hasn’t been hard to do either, he said.

His clients span across different ages, genders and races, and live both in and out of the city. But he said those in New York, where he is based, often echo a similar sentiment: The dating scene is worse here than anywhere else.

“It’s funny, there’s so many people here in New York City, and yet, I feel like a lot of people are very lonely,” he said.

More than 1 in 3 American adults have used an online dating app at some point in their life, and they are also common tools among younger adults, according to data from the Pew Research Center. The same survey found that apps are popular across racial and ethnic groups.

And those not on dating apps might still be searching in real life. Social activities like run clubs, book clubs, climbing gyms, casual sports teams, speed dating and niche dating events have become more common in recent years, attracting crowds of New Yorkers eager to meet their next romantic prospect. And a new wave of dating apps allows users to sit back and let AI write their profile.

It seems there have never been more ways to find true love, and some New Yorkers are turning to dating coaches like Emanuilidis for help navigating them all. He is one of three New York City-based dating coaches who shared his thoughts on what the dating scene is really like within the five boroughs. One thing all the coaches could all agree on is that New Yorkers are eager to date. And perhaps, more controversially, they agreed that New York is not hell for single people.

'The same issues that will crop up here will crop up anywhere'

“I think people blaming their own city is a cop-out sometimes for lack of accountability for actually putting in the work,” said Brooklyn dating coach Erika Ettin, who runs A Little Nudge, a company that helps people find love. “It’s easy to blame the city. It’s easy to blame anything.”

Ettin said people in virtually every major city across the country are likely to blame their single status on where they live.

“The same issues that will crop up here will crop up anywhere else: You’re gonna find flaky people everywhere, you’re gonna find amazing people everywhere,” said Ettin.

Ettin said she often advises her clients that spending 30 minutes on the apps daily, often split into two 15-minute increments, could help them find love.

She also instructs her New York clients to attend three in-person events a month where they could meet others. These events could be anything, like a coffee shop, a party or a concert, for example.

She compared finding the one to a job search.

“If you got laid off and had to search for a new job, of course that takes work,” said Ettin. “And this takes a similar kind of work, people don’t want to think it does.”

A common theme Manhattan-based dating coach Liza Cooper sees among single New Yorkers is the idea that someone better could be out there, which seems plausible in a city with 8 million people.

“People always want something better, they’re striving for more,” she said. “And they do that with people, too.”

'There’s a lot of hope here'

Cooper, who dubs herself “the love coach of the Upper West Side,” said the city is packed with people looking for love – but you have to be brave enough to continue to look for them.

“There’s a lot of hope here," said Cooper. "In my experience of meeting all the people in New York that are interested in a dating coach, or people that approach me on the street, they’re all looking for something: love, a relationship, a connection."

For Brenda Andolina, 60, who began dating in the past two years after divorcing her husband over a decade ago, hearing that the city was a great place to find love was a revelation that helped her reframe how she felt about dating.

“I realized through that process that I was avoiding a relationship, not just choosing not to date,” she said. Andolina said that attending Cooper's workshop and starting therapy opened her up to dating in both New York City and Philadelphia, where she divides her time.

“It’s about finding the time and prioritizing it,” said Andolina. “If you don’t prioritize it, you keep putting it down your list of things you should be doing.”

While Andolina said she’s mainly met people through dating apps, she’s open to meeting them elsewhere – particularly when it’s in a major city.

Cooper said she thinks living in a dense city gives one the option to ditch dating apps altogether.

“If you start looking up like people used to do — that’s how everyone used to meet: on the subway, in the grocery store. You can do that as well, you can just launch a conversation with someone,” said Cooper.

Emanuilidis, who relocated to Manhattan three years ago from his hometown in Westchester County, said that single people risk getting consumed by what others can give rather than what they themselves have to offer.

“Dating isn’t about taking, it’s about giving love and giving that expansive positive energy to other people,” he said, adding that it’s the best way to not get overwhelmed with the sheer amount of options out there.

“That’s what will allow you to move forward and not be super overwhelmed by people who want to be with you, don’t want to be with you and just be in a good headspace,” he said.